Listen up kids
in the olden days
before shopping was
leisurely scrolling websites
from your bed
black friday was a battle royale
there were no online deals
or tedious coupon codes
women across the nation
competed for your gifts
in the christmas gauntlet
blaring alarms woke us up
in the dead of night
mollie and I would partner
we owned the fast and furious
franchise long before vin diesel
first we get all the newspapers
frantically clip all the coupons
tape them into a pre-tabbed binder
clustered by store
I drop her at the door
and hunt for a parking space
she saves a place in the long line
weaving around the still locked store
where we wait in darkness
with countless other women
bracing against the cruel cold
inside the store
it’s a relay race
to the door buster deals
the most time is lost at check-out
sometimes over an hour
so we take turns waiting in queue
as the other sprints to load the cart
with our designated booty
it’s a rally race to the next store
careening around corners
catching our breath
and steeling ourselves
for the next round
store after store after store
our car overflows with gifts
until the light of dawn when
every item on our list
is checked twice
crossed off with red marker
we head to a restaurant
for hot chocolate
but first we face the sunrise
exhausted
boots and pants covered in slush
but we stand victorious
the undisputed winners
of black friday
this was life before the internet
before it all got soft and easy
only the very weak of heart
on black friday “add to cart”
