Smiling at strangers
uncomfortable
until you learn
they always smile back

chatting with strangers
awkward
until you discover
everyone is fascinating

connecting with strangers
beyond small talk
where you learn
we’re all wired for friendship

what if we took more chances
got curious
opened our hearts
reached out in love

but let’s work up to that scary guy later
maybe start with the bell ringer
clanging away to fill her little red pot
she seems nice

As the matriarch of my clan
I embrace this ancient ritual:
the yule tree

with the reverence reserved for sacred rites
I string lights and hang baubles
as I cherish memories

the trees of my past
my children’s homemade ornaments
elated giggles

the trees of my mother
jeweled garlands, the smell of pine
midnight mass

the trees of my grandmothers
bubble lights, silver tinsel
popcorn balls

the trees of my ancestors
candles, coins, corn
welcoming the solstice

for thousands of years
all my many mothers brought light into their families
just as Jesus brought light into the world

we are links on a long chain of love

(from the Sisters archives)

For almost five decades
it has been sung
by Santa’s two elves
where the stockings are hung

at first in our arms
then in front of the tree
next twirling and dancing
then on boyfriend’s knee

soon with their husbands
then with faces aglow
to their own little babies
singing tender and low

now the house overflows 
and the children abound
now a choir of elves
fill our Christmas with sound

not too long now till
great grandkids will sing
then my girls will be grannies
and the gift they should bring —
find some green yarn
and tie up a bell
like your own mother did
help them jingle it well

What gift can I nestle under the tree
to make you happy?

what can these dollars buy 
that fills your soul?

where do they sell the joy
that eases your sorrows?

bigger, better, newer, more
just sparkling emptiness

if I could find it for you
I would buy it for you

can I order peace online?
is there free shipping?

There was a time
when we were too poor
to buy our daughters
proper Christmas gifts

we made them art journals
coupons for make-believe adventures
hair ribbons and board games

their favorite gift was a cardboard box
of daddy’s old screw drivers
and a broken toaster  

that’s how their parents learned
give discovery
give knowledge
give imagination
priceless

After the divorce
mom moved us all to my grandpa’s house
she tried extra hard
to make us a brilliant Christmas
but my grandpa died unexpectedly

she said we had to take down the tree
I was little and didn’t understand why

after our baby turned one
I made our family’s first Christmas
I tried extra hard
to make it magical and fun
but my dad died unexpectedly

I said we had to take down the tree
I was grown and I didn’t understand why

each Christmas since
there is a part of me 
that won’t open

amid the joys and holiday bustle
I am bracing for grief

I am old and I still don’t understand
but no matter the loss
the tree will stand

(from the Sisters archives)

It was money we didn’t have
but it was on sale
a red Holly Hobbie fabric remnant

I’d hoped you’d both love it
sewing ruffles was my favorite part
and the hand-hemming too

matching dresses for Christmas

it was money we didn’t have
but if there was only one —
just one professional portrait
from your whole childhood

(as it turns out, there is only one)

it should be you
together
in the Holly Hobbie dresses
your mom sewed for your Christmas

I trudged through store after store
finding nothing any single person on my list needs

stressed from drowning in superfluous crap
I fought my way out of the last store
into the sardine can of a parking lot
where I took a deep full breath 
of crisp December air

I felt resentment
not the spirit of giving

I felt cultural expectations
not generosity

I felt guilt for wasting resources
and squandering time

I surrendered

I took my ball and went home
to hunt for something
people on my list actually needed

and there it was all along
good cheer
devotion
compassion
forgiveness
encouragement
love

now how do I wrap that
and keep it under $20 dollars?

It is Christmas Eve.
our feast is eaten 
gifts are opened
guests are gone

the house is still
all sound swallowed 
by the sleeping night

I peer through the window 
transfixed by the snow as it falls
in giant clumps of flakes

I think we should invent
a dedicated word for it

for that feeling of not breathing
as you pause with the universe
to be awed
by something magnificent 

Before I end this letter, I leave you with a few thoughts about giving. I did some pondering and consulted a few ancient friends. As you may have felt from some of the poems, I’m struggling with all the rampant materialism this year. Normally, I adore Christmas shopping, package wrapping, and gift giving, but this year it’s rankling me.

Buddha said the highest form of generosity is giving someone security and freedom from fear.

Lao-Tzu said the wise man does not lay up treasure. The more he expends on others, the more he gains for himself.

The Prophet Muhammad said when a person dies, all their deeds end except three: a continuing charity, beneficial knowledge, and a child who prays for them.

The Stoic Emperor Marcus Aurelius said, “What brings no benefit to the hive brings none to the bee.” Stoicism upholds altruism, acting in the service of others without desire for personal gain, recognition, or praise. To Stoics, generosity is organic, done naturally, since it is our inherent nature to help others. Their focus is on the greater good.

You may not have heard of the Jewish Torah Scholar Maimonides. He lived in the Middle Ages and his thinking was a major influence on Aquinas, Spinoza, Leibniz, and Newton who wrote about him extensively. Maimonides said there are eight levels of giving. The highest level is giving the recipient the wherewithal to become self-supporting.

But it’s not their birthday, right?

So here’s some thoughts from Jesus himself. To see what He said about generosity, click here. Whether you’re a Christian or not, you know true wisdom when you find it.

I hope to send you another letter soon, but I’m not sure if I can steal the time. Meanwhile, let’s make the season bright. There is much to be grateful for. Happy Krampusnacht tonight. Another German excuse to scare the children. Love it! — m2

P.S.
GIVE TO THOSE WHO ASK, AND DON’T REFUSE THOSE WHO WISH TO BORROW FROM YOU. - Matthew 5:42.

I’m thinking about printing this on a t-shirt and
wearing it into my bank. Holiday shopping $.

I HOPE YOU WRITE A POEM FOR SOMEONE YOU LOVE