Damn This Holiday

I set out this Memorial Day morning to write a Memorial Day greeting to my family, but veered off into a pent up rant fueled by the current war in Ukraine. Here’s how my “thank you for your service” turned out.

As I was growing up, at the beginning of each summer, Grandma Gunderson would celebrate Decoration Day, a day to decorate the graves of soldiers who had died in war. When we moved to Marshfield, Grandma Ada also celebrated Decoration Day along with the rest of America.

It was a very important holiday to them, a time to honor and remember the soldiers who died in war. Decoration Day started after the Civil War about the time our house was built. It was carried forward for almost 100 years until 1971 when Congress made it an official holiday called Memorial Day and it was diluted by the inclusion of all graves - soldier or not.

Our culture glorifies war, even though it is the most horrific act of mankind. We also glorify the warrior. We pretend soldiers are fighting for our freedom, but they are often just fighting for the selfish interests of wealthy and powerful men who want more wealth and more power.

For my husband and me, Memorial Day is largely a time of shame and sadness. The soldiers we knew didn’t leave their homes and families willingly, but were drafted into service. Today, the politicians and news anchors  talk about their courage, selflessness, and bravery, but they tell us those attributes were in scarce supply in battle. They were mostly terrified. They say our freedom was the last thing on their mind.

On Memorial Day, we remember when our friends were unfairly sent to Vietnam to kill or be killed, or to have their bodies, minds, or lives ruined by a lifetime of guilt or pain. The soldiers we have known did not want to murder strangers, did not want to fight, and believed many of the horrible things they were asked to do were wrong. To this day, they regret their “service” to America. They do not celebrate.

I think Memorial Day is an act of cultural collusion to foster the pretense that murder on a mass scale can be justified. It can’t. War is humanity’s failure to resolve disputes without violence. War is also too often an act of greed and  cowardice.

I believe it’s one thing for passionate soldiers to defend their families and their country from attack.There is courage and valor in that, but I see neither in forcing other people to fight and die for your passions while you sit home and butter your cob of corn and watch a parade. If you see a soldier today, be sure to say how sorry we are for their service.

So then I wrote the poem.