Follow the road or make a new patH?
“What's left to be prized? This, I think - to limit our action or inaction to only what's keeping with the needs of our own preparation...it's what the exertions of education and teaching are all about - here is the thing to be prized! If you hold this firmly, you'll stop trying to get yourself all the other things...If you don't, you won't be free, self-sufficient, or liberated from passion, but not necessarily full of envy, jealousy, and suspicion for any who have the power to take them, and you'll plot against those who do have what you prize...But by having some self-respect for your own mind and prizing it, you will please yourself and be in better harmony with your fellow human beings, and more in tune with the gods - praising everything they have set in order and allotted to you.” - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 6.16.2b-4a
Keith and I started our life together when we were both seventeen. Over five decades later, I think one of the best things we did very early in our life together was create a strategic plan. We didn’t know that’s what it was called at the time, but we knew intuitively we needed a plan and how important it was for the future years ahead.
We charted our most deeply-held values, the ones that informed our very being on this planet. We discussed our biggest dreams, and brainstormed how to achieve them. We sketched out our life and its trajectory. We prioritized. We set goals. We wrote it down, reviewed and refreshed it each year.
On the surface, I think our life looks very ordinary, but there are some subtle detours we made that resulted in a unique and fulfilling life for both of us. Here are a few examples:
1) We bought our first house sight unseen. We just needed a place to live, so we bought the cheapest house listed in the city ($15,000). Yep. Never saw it until the day we moved in.
2) We home-schooled our kids (a rare occurrence in the 1970’s).
3) We took turns working. On our first strategic plan, we decided Keith would work the first 10 years of our marriage, then I would work the second 10 years.
4) We spared no expense on tools - tools for building, learning, making art, and seeing the stars.
5) You know that first house we bought for $15,000? We decided our most important asset was time, so we lived frugally. That way we could sell less of our time to an employer. And you know what? We still live in that same first house. We figured it doesn’t pay to work for the American Dream Home if you’re never there to enjoy it.
Please don’t misunderstand, these are not recommendations. Rather, they are encouragements to make your own plan, clarify your values, and fulfill your dreams. You need to know when to change the rules, when to say “no,” and where to invest your time.
We made mistakes, we dropped balls, we took wrong turns. But it wasn’t for a lack of trying. The important thing is we protected the important stuff and gave it a chance to grow. We protected our love for each other, our love for our family, and our love for you.
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.”