Worthy Efforts | Unwinnable Battles
I have been thinking a lot about my energy. When I listen to the war-talk and impeachment-filled news rants, I can feel myself shrinking as if pummeled by a bully. The stinging frustration of being so very powerless drains my strength, my will, my purpose. I feel myself slipping toward a state of sadness and hopelessness.
When I was in my twenties working at Mercury Marine, I was blessed to receive amazing training on Stephen Covey’s remarkable “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I might have taken it less seriously if it weren’t for my teammates, all men in their 50’s or older. Unanimously, they bemoaned they didn’y have this wisdom when they were young. They all felt it would have fundamentally changed how they approached their life, their family, and their career. Wow. Thank you!
Believing their endorsement and its importance, I sought to absorb this material at a cellular level. I put as much into practice as I could muster. Not enough, though. Never enough.
Despite my efforts, even at this advanced age, when faced with the edge of an emotional cliff, I often can’t find the right tools on my belt. My brain usually needs to rummage around to find that old tool box and sift through it to find Stephen Covey’s “Circle of Control.” It’s a simple, yet powerful, venn diagram, which serves as a reminder to me on where to spend my energy. It looks like this.
So instead of “raging against the machine” and depleting my life energy to no effect, this reflection helps me regroup and change my target to something in my circle of control.
Surprisingly, it’s always feels like a breakthrough moment. No matter how many times I repeat this cycle. I am always elevated when I remember I am powerful. I am hopeful. I can change the world. I can change the universe.
All because I can change myself.
So work on that, Mary.
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own...”