41
What is the relationship between solitude and connection?
FREEDOM IN FREE HOUR
It was called freshman free hour
but not completely free
mandatory in the school library
but phones allowed
I watched the tables filling
cliques of smart phone kids
sharing screens, giggling,
filling the space with chatter
But where was Kateri headed?
she left the library through the side door
and wandered to that still pond
she sat alone at its edge
Was she watching a turtle
a school of fish
or just her own reflection?
her eyes never left the water
She sat with herself half the hour
returned to the clamor
where the room erupted with calls of:
“Kateri, sit with us!”
She felt like everyones’ friend
because she was
I’d been hiding at the small desk
by the newspapers
knowing there was no place for me
at those tables of friends
I was stunned when she pulled up a chair
and smiled into my soul
I had no small talk game
And longed to not misstep
Kateri, I blurted casually,
did you get lonesome?
She laughed with delight and explained
”My people believe the deeper we sit with ourselves
the truer our ties with others”
I laughed with anxiety
”Kateri, why would being alone
make you less alone?”
She scrunched her forehead
uncertain and careful to be true
"I think,” she paused as I held my breath,
"because solitude allows me
to bring something whole
to share with you”
On that day
a lifetime ago
Kateri made my hiding place
into a table of friends
and gave my heart
a life-long desire
to bring something whole