Mischief | Shopping for Poison

Today I went shopping at Wacky Wicked Witches, a specialty store for women of an evil disposition. They were having a sale on poison - 20% off. I need lots of poison because I am trying to get rid of Granny so I can marry Keith May and steal his 55 Chevy.

Don’t judge me. I have tried other ways to get rid of her.

You see the “Witchy Rules” say no witches may go into houses unless they are invited. So, I bought a magic spell off the internet. When you say the incantation fast and kiss someone on the lips, they have to do one command you give them, but you only have sixty seconds.

Last April, I sneaked up on Paw and gave him my spittiest kiss then said the spell. I commanded him to invite me into the house. He did. Then I went upstairs and put poison spiders in all of Granny’s socks. They were supposed to bite her toes and kill her, but her big fat feet just squished them. Ick.

Then, to make matters worse, she saw me hiding in the closet and planted a spinning back-kick in my face. Her big fat foot got poison spider guts all over my face and it made me look like a Zombie for 100 days.

I didn’t win the Witch Beauty Contest, thanks to her reckless use of feet. Next time I saw Granny she laughed at me and yelled as I flew by on my broom. She screamed, “Ugly Bugly, I de-feeted you.”

And then she laughed, but not like a witch. More like an idiot. Granny stinks.

So here is a photograph of me buying poison for Granny at the Wacky Wicked Witches store. Do not warn her about the poison. It’s a secret.