Zen of Housekeeping
FABLES FOR OUR GRANDCHILDREN
READING TIME: 2 minutes
Your grandfather has been working on a messy project to plaster and repaint our bathroom. I emptied the room to protect its contents from copious plaster dust and to give him easy access to the nooks and crannies of this lovely room. Consequently, I’ve been walking past an array of boxes filled with endless first aid supplies, cosmetics, various styles of curling irons, and so on.
WHEN THINGS ARE NOT IN THEIR RIGHT PLACE, THEY ARE CLUTTER
It is a fortuitous time to decide if their right place is still here with us. I am struck by my reactions to these objects as I sort through them.
Some things have died, and I’ve just refused to bury them. There is a broken curling iron which works at warm but not hot. I’ve kept it just in case its replacement falters. Really? Am I afraid I will be too poor to buy a new one? I also have eight old used retainers. Why?
Then there are the things so seldom used, I wonder why I give them space at all. Like the sticky tape you wrap around a sprain. I have five rolls in assorted colors from fourteen years ago when I sprained my wrist. The colors were to match my outfits. Why are they still here?
Then there are things that were never used. Mostly, some new fangled magic hair-do tools. There’s two sets of different weird hair curlers with which I always thought I’d experiment when I had some spare time. But, I had lots of spare time isolated for a year in a pandemic and never used them. How many more years of spare time do I need before these curlers make the “to do” list.
I see a pattern so let’s get to it. My brain worries about lack. I keep things out of fear that someday I won’t have something I need or the means to acquire it. But I can’t imagine a case where lack of curlers, retainers, and sprain tape would be life-threatening.
I keep things out of guilt pretending somehow if I nurture the lie that someday I will create value from these objects, then somehow their purchase was not a mistake or a failing on my part.
I keep things out of attachment because it triggers dopamine - a happy memory, an imagined future experience, an achieved goal of acceptance, health, or love. None of which exists in these objects, but reside within my own mind. Some of these are worthy keepers, like grandma’s hand mirror, but probably not the assortment of banana clips.
WHEN THINGS HAVE NO EARNED PLACE IN MY LIFE, THEY ARE DEBRIS
When I give the useful things a proper place, they cease to be clutter.
When I remove debris from my life I create space, peace, and expansiveness.
Letting go is one of the most critical life skills I can think of. Letting go of your junk is just practice for all the hard stuff you have to let go in life — even letting go of life itself someday.
I love you,
Granny