Mischief | My Secret Lair

You may have seen my scary house. It is so horrible, everyone is afraid to visit except other witches and some evil monkey friends. But what you have not seen, and will hopefully NEVER see, is my secret lair. It is a hide-away in the woods conveniently close to a McDonalds. See that little hole behind me in the photo. Well, kiddies, its a WORM HOLE, and I'm not kidding. My matter has been compressed and decompressed so many times, I feel like an accordion.

If you go through the worm hole, it sparks like lightening and colors flash in your eyes so you can't see for awhile. Then you are transported to another dimension where there is no space or time or report cards or shots from the doctor. Only my stuff is in that dimension, like my 100 X-box Ones, my creepy dungeons, and my "Ugly Bugly for President" signs. I have gallons and gallons of poison too. I also have a few pallets of pickles for Ickity Lickity. Lots of gear for the survivalist witch.

It is my bunker where I will take refuge if anything gets weird, if you know what I mean. I will protect the kids if they are ever in danger. We can hide out together.

OKAY

They can bring their parents too - and Paw. But grown-ups will have to be in my dungeon. Kids can free-range.

Granny can't come. The one thing I am looking forward to when Armageddon arrives is my chance to marry Keith May.

So a big "NO" on stinky Granny.

Sorry, but someone always dies in these scenarios.

Just accept it and quit your whining.