Secrets | Roland’s Story 2019
This is the vehicle that turned the head of a green individual outside the cafe on that infamous day when Keith May and Ugly Bugly first met.
CHEVROLET by Roland
Once upon a time, there was a mustached man who owned a 55 Chevrolet. This man had a beautiful young wife named Mary. One day, when this mustached man and Mary went out to eat at a diner, a long-nosed, warted, green-faced, witch-hatted witch came up to the mustached man. She glanced at his 55 Chevrolet keys on the diner booth.
She said, “Is that black Chev yours?”
The mustached man answered, “Yes, what about it?”
This green individual leaned up against the mustached man, making him feel very uncomfortable. The witch said, “I could make you the richest man alive and you would have the biggest mustache ever.”
“No, I have a wife and I’m not going to date you, ya damn goblin,” he replied.
The witch grabbed her janitor broom and went outside the diner and flew off.
A couple years later, at the very same diner, the mustached man and Mary were having a smoothie. The green individual comes back and looks grosser and older than ever.
“Would you like to go out some time,” asked the green individual?
The mustached man screamed, “Back off, Stalker Hag!”
The green individual went outside the diner, grabbed her broom, looking so grim. She went off on her broom.
Twenty years later, Mary and the mustached man still had a great bond and loved each other with all their hearts. They went back to the diner for some flapjacks one morning. The green individual comes back in looking slimier than ever. A longer nose with more warts, boogers hanging out of her nose, pinkeye, her ears look beaten up and she had really, really, long eye brows and eye lashes. Her hair looked stringy and the gold buckle on her witch hat shined. She was pocketing a wand.
The mustached man looked up from drawing a beautiful picture of Mary and flowers. He said, “It’s you again.”
The green individual asked for the last time, “We should go on a date.”
The mustached man pepper-sprayed the green individual She angrily cackled and screamed, “Do you know who I am? Do ya? I am Ugly Bugly.”
Then she took her wand out and put a curse on Mary making it eventually that she couldn’t date the mustached man anymore and they were bounded to not love each other or kiss or hug or cuddle.
A couple years later Mary was feeling so sad about it. Mustached man, too.
One day, the mustached man goes up to the foggy, cobblestone castle - the home of Ugly Bugly. The mustached man bangs the wood door and screams, “Let me in!”
Ugly Bugly replies, “You’ve finally come for me, Love?”
The mustached man says, “Yes!“
She opens the door and the mustached man sees that Ugly Bugly looks so gross, like “times 2” from before. Sooooo ugly. She’s a hunchback and sooooo disgusting.The mustached man makes a grossed-out face, and then he notices her necklace which has a big ruby on it that allows her to make curses.
He says, “Do you want a hug?”
And she says delightedly in her old gross voice, “Of course.”
And he goes in for the hug and gets a little green goop on him, but he snatches the cursing ruby necklace and runs.
When he’s safe away, he uses the necklace to make his first magic.
Ugly Bugly will no longer be able to put curses on people
and all her curses will be lifted.
Then the mustached man went down to his home and then to Mary’s. He knocked on the door and waited for a reply.
Mary said, “Who is it?”
And the mustached man just opened the door.
Mary screamed with excitement and was so happy that he broke the curse and they could love each other again.
A couple years later, they had children. They named them Snotball and Skeepie - oh wait - that was not their names - Maggie and Mollie. They grew up and had children too. All the while Ugly Bugly was heartbroken in her castle.
Today, Ugly Bugly wishes and plots how she’ll get the mustached man’s Chevy. She knows she will.
THE END
This is Roland’s entry in the 2019 Ugly Bugly Story Contest. He took first place for the best story written by a human boy. This is his tale