Style | Occult Orthodontia

Lilly was fascinated by Stupid Granny's retainer for her teeth. It is a little plastic thing she puts in her mouth that helps her keep her teeth straighter. Lilly begged Granny for one, so Granny took her to the Walmart Super Store where they have everything because of bad U.S. trade agreements.

Lilly and Granny could not find any retainers because I ordered my evil monkey to steal them. Good trick, eh.

All I left for them to buy was this beautiful retainer that looks just like mine. Now Lilly and I can be twins when I am her Granny after I marry Keith May. Granny said she didn’t like it because it made Lilly look scary. Duh! That’s the point.

Lilly loved this retainer and wore it all day. It made her talk funny, and she had to take it out to chew and swallow. I think she looks beautiful. Too bad all kids can't have retainers like Lilly's and mine.

Stupid Granny will probably try to buy one so she can be twins with Lilly too, but I won’t let that happen. I’ll be knocking her teeth out very soon, I think.