What is the most precious asset you have in life? I am not sure if it is the same for everyone, or if it changes at different points in our life - but I am sure, everyone’s list should include “agency.”

I read an interesting essay lately in which the author maintained, “before you grasp, you must reach.” Agency is that very kind of reaching. It is the capacity to act without a threat pushing you or a reward pulling you. Agency is the capacity to act from within yourself. Everyone has it to some degree, but the more you have, the better your life will be. So how can you get more agency?

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It may seem like there aren’t many things you can count on in life, but one certainty is that you will be triggered. You are, after all, an animal. You are wired to juice up warning chemicals that set your body ablaze when threats trigger that response. Be grateful. It helped your ancestors survive. It will up your chances of staying alive and unharmed too.

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There is a wonderful little book called Atomic Habits by James Clear, and I am excited to tell you about it.

Bad habits compound. Smoking leads to yellow teeth, bad breath, stinky clothes, less money, disease, and you can imagine from there.

Good habits compound. The good effects get better and better. For example, quitting sugar soda compounds to fewer cavities, saved money, weight loss, higher self-esteem, and you can imagine from there too.

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I am a planner. I love everything about it. Some things in life are super hard and/or deeply complicated. They scare me. I don’t want to fail. So I plan. But sometimes, I paralyze myself. Sometimes for years and years, like with my website. That was the last “planning” straw for this camel’s back. It finally convinced me of something I just didn’t want to believe… you don’t need to work that hard!

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Long-haired, dirty hippie.
Coward. Draft-dodger.
Know-it-all Bitch.
Tragic waste of potential.

Just a few names people have tried to give your Granny and Paw over the years. Even though other people try to give you their labels, you get to decide whether you wear them or not. Sadly, the cruelest labels are often the ones we give ourselves.

Let’s stop all that.

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Comparison is undermining. If you compare yourself to other people, you will usually decide you are not enough of whatever you’re measuring. You decide incorrectly!

Know this: There is no right answer to your life. You get to make it up as you go along.

Did you ever hear of John Pierpont? He was a failure by some people’s standards. He graduated from Yale and became a teacher for a short time, but lost the job because he was too easy on his students.

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