THE SECRET DIARY OF UGLY BUGLY

Ugly Bugly has a long history with our family. She has tormented me for two decades with threats, poison, spells, and various murder attempts. She says she loves my husband and wants to marry him, but we suspect she is really looking for ownership of his black 55 Chevy, which would make a very snappy witch-mobile. Ugly Bugly has declared she wants to be the Granny of my little ones. She is convinced she would do a much better job. I live in mortal danger and have befallen many injuries, but still survive for the time being. Unbeknownst to Ugly Bugly, one of her relatives has provided a copy of this secret diary so we can keep track of her plotting and thwart her wicked plans. Read it at your own peril!

Bad Advice | Get Naughty School Supplies

Bad Advice | Get Naughty School Supplies

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Mailing Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Mailing Bad Advice

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Chew Gum in School

Bad Advice | Chew Gum in School

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Pick Your Nose

Bad Advice | Pick Your Nose

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Look Cute to Demons

Bad Advice | Look Cute to Demons

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Write With Bat Poop

Bad Advice | Write With Bat Poop

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Color to Relax

Bad Advice | Color to Relax

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Make Your Neighbors Move Away

Bad Advice | Make Your Neighbors Move Away

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Help People Love Spiders

Bad Advice | Help People Love Spiders

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Never Say Thank You

Bad Advice | Never Say Thank You

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Make Your Own Tattoos

Bad Advice | Make Your Own Tattoos

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Scare Grown-ups

Bad Advice | Scare Grown-ups

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Embarrass Grown-ups

Bad Advice | Embarrass Grown-ups

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Psych Your Friends

Bad Advice | Psych Your Friends

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Cheat at Games

Bad Advice | Cheat at Games

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts. - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Bad Advice | Be Worried About Your Toes

Bad Advice | Be Worried About Your Toes

With sincere concern for the future of these kids, I am exerting my wonderfully negative influence to the best of my ability. Without my intervention, they would likely have friends bothering them, be happily married to an idiot, and never learn any evil magic tricks. What a waste. I can’t stand by and watch Stupid Granny ruin them with her sickening, sweet, stupidity. My stream of bad advice might be the only thing that helps plunge them into darkness. I swore an oath to do my worst by them and this is a collection of my efforts.

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 5, 2018Bad Advice

Stupid Granny | Her Universal Witch Flag

Stupid Granny | Her Universal Witch Flag

I am all for women supporting women in the fight for respect and equality. No one supports women more than I do. Despite my 100% perfect record, I draw the line at Granny. She does not deserve support. She picked this fight by defying my will. I am the victim here. She is hoarding the guy, the car, and the grandkids. I have nothing. That alone is sufficient justification, but there is also this journal which documents her stupidity at every turn. She does not deserve a place in the gene pool. Almost everyone agrees with me. Let’s be sensible. She’s gotta go! - Ugly Bugly the Witch

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 4, 2018Stupid Granny

Stupid Granny | The Golden Bell

Stupid Granny | The Golden Bell

I am all for women supporting women in the fight for respect and equality. No one supports women more than I do. Despite my 100% perfect record, I draw the line at Granny. She does not deserve support. She picked this fight by defying my will. I am the victim here. She is hoarding the guy, the car, and the grandkids. I have nothing. That alone is sufficient justification, but there is also this journal which documents her stupidity at every turn. She does not deserve a place in the gene pool. Almost everyone agrees with me. Let’s be sensible. She’s gotta go!

Ugly BuglyMary MayOctober 4, 2018Stupid Granny